Do you ever feel like your brain gets stuck on repeat?
Mine does. Especially when I’m distracted or tired or just not feeling like myself. Until the last year or so, I was constantly battling my own mind, fighting my internal irrational thoughts, tearing myself down when things fell apart (usually in my imagination)…and it was exhausting!
I was introduced to mindfulness. I fought it. It was actually easier to create the situations in my head than deal with life as it occurred, but I was falling apart mentally and physically.
Have you ever just been sick and tired of being sick and tired?
That was me. I felt like a shell of a person and was unable to practice any form of self-care because I saved what tiny little bits of energy I had for my daughters. But, since we’re being honest here, my girls were getting the short end of the stick, too.
When I committed to practicing mindfulness and actually facing the daily crap, things slowly improved. I wanted instant gratification, but that just isn’t how mindfulness works. Once I was able to get my mind out of my mindfulness practice, my daily experience was enjoyable and not a constant battle.
Free your mind.
Seriously.
The best advice I got when I started learning mindfulness was this:
Don’t time travel.
Only go back to learn from it or gain insight.
Only go forward when it is goal-oriented.
The present moment is the only moment you have.
Having to accept all of the time I wasted living in the past or dreaming of the future really took away from actually being in the present moment. I was never in the present, and I know I missed out on a lot of life.
Well, I’m here now. And sometimes it sucks, but mostly it’s amazing. Good things, as well as bad things, come and go, but I try to face them as they are and not as I’d like for them to be.
It isn’t easy.
My brain is a bit of a control freak. However, learning to let go helps me to hang on to the really important stuff in a healthy way. While I may still get irrational at times, I am much better equipped to pay attention to what’s really going on.
Sometimes I need a nap.
Sometimes I need attention.
Sometimes I just need to be left the hell alone.
I have a choice in each of those situations, and I won’t let my brain rule me and ruin me.
How does that apply to you?
Welllllll, let’s talk about what mindfulness really is and how you can apply it to your own life.
By the way, I don’t claim to have all the answers. I have made enough mistakes to know when something is or is not working though. I’m a problem solver…it’s what I do.
What is mindfulness?
According to Marsha M. Linehan’s DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, mindfulness is
- Intentionally living with awareness in the present moment. (Waking up from automatic or rote behaviors to participate and be present in our own lives.)
- Without judging or rejecting the moment. (Noticing consequences, discerning helpfulness and harmfulness — but letting go of evaluating, avoiding, suppressing, or blocking the present moment.)
- Without attachment to the moment. (Attending to the experience of each new moment, rather than ignoring the present by clinging to the past or grabbing for the future.)
Simply put…
Participate in your own life as it is happening.
It is what it is. Period.
Be here, now.
The great thing about mindfulness is that it can occur in your life any time, anywhere. You choose your practice.
You can engage in mindfulness practice right now! Take a break and just focus on the sounds around you. Close your eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Just observe.
You’re being mindful! It’s that easy! When your brain runs off on a tangent, gently guide it back to what you were doing. You can’t do this wrong! It can be meditation or even contemplative prayer…your choice.
You can be mindful in your movements as well as your thoughts. Something as simple as noticing the way your feet come in contact with the ground when you walk is mindfulness practice. Just a few minutes a day of being aware and paying attention to the present moment will begin to bring about changes in the way you think and go about your daily routine.
It’s amazing, and I love it.
This week will be a series on some of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness and how to incorporate it naturally into your life.
I will address my top 10 simple ways to be mindful on a daily basis, and I will give special attention to my two greatest accomplishments (and greatest struggles) when it comes to my personal mindfulness practice.
I look forward to sharing my mindfulness practice with you!
In the meantime…
Free your mind!
Read Part 1 of the Mindfulness Series here.
Read Part 2 here.
Read Part 3 here.
Nonna says
Free your mind and the rest will follow!
Starr W says
That song plays in my head every time I think of the title of this post!
Gretchen says
Interesting…I’m in a constant battle all weekend trying to free my mind! It has been in a constant whirlwind. I needed to read this today!
Starr W says
I’m glad this was so timely for you!
Stacy says
Yes, be here now! Easier said than done, but it changed my world for sure. Thanks for the important work you are doing!
Starr W says
Thank you! It is definitely easier said than done! I think we get the most benefit by just continuing to try.
Abbie says
What a great reminder to be present and to consciously CHOOSE to be present. An important way to start the week! Thank you!
Starr W says
You’re welcome! I am so glad I can share this info. It still amazes me how much is actually our choice on a daily basis!
Vivianna says
I totally struggle with being a control freak myself but am taking baby steps to be more mindful. One of my biggest challenges is that I am sooo much of a visualizer that I do often spend too much time in the past or future. I so enjoy being RIGHT HERE & in the NOW but you’re right, it can be just as HARD as it is rewarding. I can’t wait to see what else you share in your series!
Starr W says
Thank you for reading! Mindfulness is definitely tough. Talking about it seems to make it just a tiny bit easier for me.
Leila says
How true! I’m total day dreamer, I spent far too much time thinking about past and dreaming about future. Since I became mother I suddenly found myself enjoying PRESENT and not bothering anymore about past/future. My baby brought me so much joy and love.
Amazing post!
Starr W says
Thank you! Babies are definitely life changing! I’m glad your little one has brought you more mindfulness. They grow up so quickly that we have to enjoy each moment as we receive it.
Cassie says
Great article, and very interesting! This could definitely apply to my life 🙂
Starr W says
Thank you so much!
suzanne says
I absolutely love this post! I just finished reading 10% Happier and that was my first introduction to mindfulness. I’ve just started meditating, so I look forward to reading your tips. Thank you for sharing!
Starr W says
You’re welcome! I haven’t read 10% Happier yet, but I will add it to my list of must reads. I feel like I am always learning when it comes to mindfulness. Also this month, I will have a series on meditation and would appreciate any feedback.
Andrea says
This really speaks to me right now. Thank you for sharing your tips. I really love what you said about “Only go forward when it is goal-oriented.” I have a tendency to jump forward too often instead of living in the moment. As a freelance writer and work at home mom, I do a lot of planning ahead, but I don’t have to ” let my brain rule me and ruin me.” Thanks for the reminder!
Starr W says
Any time! I am also a planner and have to remind myself often to plan but not project. Being mindful and in the moment definitely helps my brain stay out of trouble! 🙂
Unaiza says
Just perfect! I was really in a need for that 🙂
I remember reading my colleague’s post about how she was lost and learnt the ways to get herself together and back to work, you and your readers might find it useful: http://aimzfolio.com/will-overthinking-ever-rule-the-world/
Starr W says
Thank you! I will definitely check out the post you suggested.