May is a month of gratitude and vulnerability for me. I am taking this opportunity to be vulnerable with the people I love and to cultivate gratitude in my daily life.
I’m even keeping a daily gratitude journal. Each day, I list 5 things I’m grateful for from that day. Some days I struggle with what to write. Some days I could write volumes.
Do I feel more grateful?
Maybe.
Do I feel that I am cultivating authentic gratitude?
Sigh. I don’t know.
Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for all of the many, many blessings I have in my life. I’m even grateful for the struggles.
Well, some of them.
Okay…I’m not there yet.
I admit that I have a hard time in some areas of my life where I can’t find any ways to show gratitude. I try, but it just isn’t there for me.
And that makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like gratitude is a stumbling block for me.
So, if I’m stumbling in the gratitude department, what does vulnerability look like at the moment?
It kind of sucks, depending on the day. I’ve felt a really comfortable vulnerability in some interactions lately, but I’ve also found myself putting up walls as a result of my insecurities.
It’s really hard to have it both ways.
What is the ultimate vulnerability for me right now?