It doesn’t always have to hurt…

I bet you’re wondering what in the world I’m talking about with that post title…

Growth.

Renewal.

Change.

Whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t always have to hurt.

So, why does it???

I’d love to tell you that spring is truly all flowers for me, but the growth and changes that I experience tend to come at a price. The older I get, the more flexible I am with change, but I’m also more aware of the effect it has on me.

Change can hurt…a little or a lot. No surprise there. However, I’m challenging you (and myself) at this very moment to control how change actually changes us. I could jump into a pity party with you and really soak up that “poor me” vibe, but I’m kind of tired of doing that.

Aren’t you?

Aren’t you tired of constantly reacting the same old way over the same old things?

It’s habitual. It’s drudgery. Ugh.

Don’t you want to fully embrace change and let it lead to positive growth and true renewal?

I know I do!

I’ve been sitting here trying to think about how to share with you what really matters to me right now, but I’m nursing some wounds of change. We’re in the process (the long, drawn out, painful do-it-ourselves process) of readying our old house to go on the market. Every time I go over there, I end up sitting on the floor in the emptiness and doing meditative breathing to get my head right for the task at hand. Every time.

It isn’t that I’m sad to be selling that house. I moved on — literally and figuratively — the moment we signed the papers on our new house. I love having space and trees and privacy and daffodils and fruit trees and a house that needs some serious TLC but is bursting with potential…

So, if things are so great, then why am I sitting on the floor of my old house taking deep breaths?

I’m overwhelmed.

We have a lot going on without factoring in all the work we’re doing at the old house. Two kids, two full-time day jobs, finding room for all of our stuff after giving up about 1000 square feet, extracurricular activities, doctor appointments, you name it. Life is happening every single day.

And I almost caved…

My go-to response in the past to overwhelming situations (or any time things were difficult) was to shut down. Just stop. My reaction was typically no action because that was easy.

I felt myself giving in to that tonight. It would have been so much easier to just make excuses, go to sleep and not deal with any of it right now. You know what would have happened? Nothing. It would still be waiting for me in the morning. Definitely not the way to start the week off on a positive note!

Rather than wallowing and whining, I sat down and started writing what really was important to me tonight. After a few sentences, I started to feel better. Then, next thing I knew, I was feeling good!

The change is there. It isn’t scary or overwhelming right now…it’s just the next step in my journey. I get to stop freaking out about all that we have to do because we’re doing it. Hubby is busting his butt getting stuff done at the other house almost nightly (he’s there now, actually). I’m doing what I can, when I can. When we get up tomorrow, we’ll do the very next thing.

One thing at a time…it’s really all you can do.

My plan for 2016 was based on a statement that jumped out at me on more than one occasion:

Action is greater than reaction.

Taking action is so much better for us than just allowing ourselves to submit to emotional reaction. Taking action results in change, but it is that growth and renewal type of change that I’ve been seeking. It is fully participating in my life rather than being afraid to experience things that may be uncomfortable for a short while.

Action means that I will wake up tomorrow having faced whatever it is head-on, that I’ve dealt with it, that I get to move forward. That’s a damn good feeling.

Emotional reaction means that I’m checking out and when I get up in the morning, nothing has changed. I still have all the original crap to deal with but now I have the additional frustration and guilt for allowing myself to just give up and take the easy way out. I’m soooooo over doing that to myself!

What other actions have I taken this month that are leading me to growth and renewal?

We are continually going through all of the stuff we have accumulated so we can either give it away or donate it. I’m still blown away by the amount of clothes that have found new homes elsewhere! I’m trying my best to de-clutter as I go also. It’s difficult for me when I get sentimental, but I’m finding I’m much more at peace with fewer things. Why do we even need all this stuff???

Just so you know, action isn’t just about subtracting. There are many great actions that have been additions to my life.

• Aromatherapy and essential oils. I’m spending more time learning about them and how to incorporate them in my meditation and mindfulness. That knowledge has led to me expressing myself creatively by designing diffuser jewelry pieces (click here to visit my online shop) and really enjoying the creative process (something I’ve been afraid of in the past).

• Stepping out of my comfort zone. I’ve been doing a great deal of that with my writing but also with getting to know other blogging moms and sharing my ideas. I’m meeting really great people and am confident in who I am and what I want to represent.
• Getting fit again. I’ve mentioned before how I feel much stronger mentally than physically these days, but I’m taking action to regain my physical health. It’s a slow process. I’ve accepted that, and the acceptance makes the steps I am taking more enjoyable. The growth I’m experiencing is not limited to my physical self.
• Upcycling. I love the concept of giving old things new life, and I feel that way about aspects of myself, too. I’m excited to share my projects with you in the near future. I’ve been brimming with ideas lately, and it’s time to put them into action. It will be awesome to share my successes and glorious failures!

Those are just a few of the ways I’m taking action. Is it likely that I’ll end up on the floor again from the pressures? Absolutely. But, while I’m down there, I’m taking deep, calming breaths to pull myself together to tackle the next action.

My new outlook on change?

Whether you call it change, growth or renewal, it is going to be uncomfortable for a time. Being uncomfortable is a long way from pain when you face it.

No matter how painful you think change can be, it doesn’t always have to hurt…

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How will you approach change with action rather than reaction this week?

What steps can you take right now to ensure that it doesn’t always have to hurt?

Let me know your responses in the comments!

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