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Meditation: My Struggle to Find Peace

March 23, 2016 by Starr W 19 Comments

Meditation: My Struggle to Find Peace

It’s true.

Meditation caused me more stress.

That is, until I learned some very important things that I will be sharing with you in this post.


Seriously, I was actually bad at meditation. It angered me. Any attempt I made ended in frustration and anxiety. Nothing zen about that!

When I started group therapy with an emphasis on meditation, it was all I could do to not roll my eyes every time someone spoke of how amazing and peaceful meditation was. Calling me a skeptic would have been a gross understatement. I had personally tried it and felt like an absolute failure.

Why did I suck so bad at meditation?

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: DIY, HEALTHYLIFE Tagged With: biometrics, body scan meditation, breathing, cara mcdonald, guided meditation, healthylife, healthyself, meditation, meditation pacers, meditative prayer, mindful meditation, mindfulness, self-care, self-soothe, starrhealthyself, struggle to find peace

16 Seconds to Bliss: The Powerful Practice of Self-Soothing

March 16, 2016 by Starr W 41 Comments

16 Seconds to Bliss: The Powerful Practice of Self-Soothing

Bliss?

16 seconds to bliss?

Okay…the title may be a tiny bit misleading…but stay with me and I’ll give you tools to achieve this bliss that I mentioned. It isn’t as far away as you might think!

Did you know???

Stress is damaging to our mental and physical state.

Your immune system can actually weaken from excessive stress in your life. If you haven’t experienced that firsthand, you probably know someone who has. I have lived it and am still picking up the pieces from the fallout.

When I started feeling like my body was falling apart, it was as a result of many months (maybe years) of sustained mental and emotional stress. It has taken continual therapy, commitment and time to get to where I can finally say that I’m in the best mental health of my life. However, my physical health still suffers. I can feel tiny improvements, and that does give me hope. Baby steps, right???

I have always read that once you got the inside “right,” then the outside would follow. It is a painfully slow process, but I am seeing positive changes.

Actually getting that stress under control and calming your body and mind can sometimes seem like an insurmountable task. I’ve been there.

Don’t despair! With a little preparation and practice, you can achieve the impossible and take action rather than just reacting to the stressors in your life. You have the ability within you to regain control and not let your emotions destroy you and those around you.

Self-Soothing

Self-soothing is one of my favorite aspects of self-care because you experience the results right away. You are creating a soothing experience for yourself that will help calm you and guide you to peacefulness…or, at the very least, get your heart rate under control and clear your mind enough for rational thought.

Some people call it a self-soothe kit, others a calm down kit or self-care survival kit. Whatever you call it, I recommend having one within reach at all times. There is no limit to the items you can include. Even suggestions for actions (i.e. bubble bath, take a long walk, meditate, etc.) can be soothing.

I recommend that your kit have 1 item to help soothe and comfort you through each of your 5 senses…sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch.

What would you choose to comfort yourself through your 5 senses?

My portable self-soothe kit:

  • Sight – I love looking at a calming image, one I can get lost in. At the moment, that image is an art piece by KDMorris titled Bird’s Eye View. I have a pocket-sized version of this piece for my self-soothe kit, but I also have a larger print at home in a place where I can view it daily. There’s just something about the movement and serenity. The whole mood of the painting is peace to me. Whether it’s imagining the movement of waves or the sway of tree branches…or the peacefulness of the bird perched on her finger…it centers me. Kelley has other amazing art pieces over at www.kdmorris.net, and she’s also a pretty awesome human being that has built a life around art and yoga and wellness. I can’t wait to get some time to check out the gallery and wine shop that she and her husband have in Holden Beach, North Carolina.
With permission from the artist: Bird's Eye View by KDMorris @ www.kdmorris.net

With permission from the artist: Bird’s Eye View by KDMorris @ www.kdmorris.net

  • Hearing – If you have access to your cell phone or a radio, you can have a song cued that will inspire you and take your focus off of the immediate crisis. Music is powerful. I also keep song lyrics (Fight Song by Rachel Platten or I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash) and lines of my favorite poetry (Robert Frost or William Wordsworth) tucked into the page of my self-soothe “book” kit. I can sing the lyrics in my head, aloud in the car or shower, or just focus on the meaning those lyrics and poetry hold for me. Changing gears like that really helps me center and get a grip.
  • Smell – This is one of my favorite soothing senses. Essential oils and oil blends are small and can be tucked into your kit. I prefer bold scents that can really snap me out of my mental quicksand. Many times, I use scents that remind me of happy memories. This is totally customizable. Perfume, lotions and coffee beans also work!
  • Taste – A piece of hard candy that can be mindfully eaten will help you be more aware and bring your attention into yourself. I like Lemon Heads and peppermints, but there are other excellent choices. Choose what you like best.
  • Touch – Touch is a great way to anchor your emotions and get control. I have touchstone pieces of jewelry, smooth rocks (usually pink quartz), stress balls, or incredibly soft fabric swatches. Whatever you can use to focus on the feeling at your fingertips will work.

Sometimes you only need to soothe through one of your senses, but sometimes you need all 5. If you need to go through your entire kit multiple times, that is totally fine. You learn what works best for you.

Having a portable kit is great for when you’re away from home, and you can create a larger self-soothing box for when you are home. It just needs to be available to you during times of stress. I find using mine to be very relaxing.

Breathing

Breathing is something that we take for granted. It tends to go on without our direct input…even when we’re sleeping! Yay for oxygen!!!

Controlling your breath is the fastest and easiest way to lower your heart rate and calm your frazzled mind. People who need to focus for a living (marksmen and athletes, for example) use tactical breathing to improve their focus and stop stress in its tracks. There are many other names for this controlled breathing…

Here’s where you learn 16 Seconds to Bliss!!!

It really is simple to calm down with immediate results.

  1. Inhale deeply for 4 seconds.
  2. Hold that breath for another 4 seconds.
  3. Exhale slowly for 8 seconds.

16 seconds of bliss.

Try it. Can you feel your heart rate slowing? Can you feel that calmness wash over you? This is scientifically proven stuff!

There’s your bliss.

Going from stressed to calm is the closest to bliss you can achieve in 16 seconds. I use this often in many situations. Especially situations where all I can do is breathe.

Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or upset, take your 16 seconds of bliss. Do this regularly and you’ll notice deeper changes. Hell, you’re practically meditating at this point!

It will make a difference so that you can make a difference.


This month, we’ve talked about mindfulness and really great ways to practice self-care. Coming up next week, we will specifically address meditation and how I was convinced I’d never get it right.  🙂


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Filed Under: DIY, HEALTHYLIFE Tagged With: 16 seconds to bliss, Bird's Eye View by KDMorris, breathing, five senses, healthylife, KDMorris art, self-care, self-soothe, self-soothe books, sensory awareness, tactical breathing

DIY Moisturizing Body Wash

March 13, 2016 by Starr W 29 Comments

DIY Moisturizing Body Wash

This week’s DIY is an awesome, simple, deliciously scented, moisturizing body wash.


What does self-care mean to you?

Is it a bubble bath and a glass of wine after a hard day? Maybe dark chocolate and a good book? Or a trip to the spa? (Yes, please!)

My pre-dawn shower is one of the rare times I get to be alone during my day, and it is one of my biggest opportunities for self-care and yet another place to practice mindfulness. I’ve even been known to meditate during my shower!

When I get up in the morning, it’s usually really early and I’m usually really tired. (Life of a working mommy, right???)

Honestly though, I do my best thinking/planning/designing in the shower…it is a brainstorm session with me, myself and I! In our last house, I kept a bag of dry erase markers on a hook in the shower to take notes and write motivational statements on the walls. I’m probably going to need to install a dry erase board at the end of the shower in the new house (tile vs. fiberglass and all), but that will be a future project!

Just having a body wash that smells good may seem obvious when you’re trying to get clean, but it actually goes much deeper. Those good smells are aromatherapy. Aromatherapy is a fantastic form of alternative medicine that can promote positive changes in your physical and mental well-being.

It makes you feel good!

Aromatherapy is awesome for mindfulness and is incredibly easy to incorporate into a self-care routine.

I love a delicious smelling, moisturizing body wash that I can use on a daily basis…nothing too heavy, nothing too drying, and nothing too chemical-y. Having rosacea also means that my skin is extra sensitive to the additives in mainstream body washes on most big box store shelves. Specifically, SLS’s. Sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate. Check most any product in your home that gets foamy, and you’re likely to have SLS’s listed. They make my face flare. I’m not a fan.

I needed something better, and the best place to start is to make it myself with known ingredients that I can pronounce!

What started as a generic recipe “just to try” has become my go-to body wash — as in “I haven’t purchased a pre-made, store bought body wash in well over a year”!

What’s in it?

diy body wash ingredients

DIY Body Wash Ingredients

  • Castile soap
  • Coconut oil
  • Honey
  • Vitamin E oil
  • Essential oils

Those are just the basics, and you can customize as much as you desire. I love the almond scented castile soap, and I really love that blast of peppermint essential oil early in the morning! There are so many options that you’re sure to find the one you like best.


Honey Almond Mint Moisturizing Body Wash

1 cup good quality coconut oil

2 cups almond castile soap

1/2 cup honey (I like to use local)

20 Vitamin E oil capsules (Found these on a crazy clearance sale at the grocery store and bought a couple bottles!!!)

15 drops peppermint essential oil

  1. Add the coconut oil to a microwave safe bowl and microwave in 20 second increments until the coconut oil is liquefied.
  2. Stir in castile soap and mix well. Your mixture will become cloudy at this point.
  3. Add the honey and continue to mix well.
  4. Use scissors to snip the end of the Vitamin E oil capsules and squeeze the oil into your mixture. This part is a little messier than the others, but it really does help your skin feel great. Continue to mix well. (Note: You can also purchase Vitamin E oil, but the capsules were much less expensive for me.)
  5. Add your essential oil and combine all ingredients well.
  6. Pour into your designated body wash container (mine is from the last mainstream body wash that I actually purchased…recycle those bottles!!!).
bottled honey almond mint

Bottled Honey Almond Mint


I do make sure to give my body wash a little shake right before I use it in case there is any separation. I’ve personally had no problems with separation, but the little shake ensures thorough mixing.

So, there you have it! An awesome, simple, delicious body wash that you can feel good about! This recipe does not cause my rosacea to flare, and it makes my morning extra sweet smelling and my skin extra soft. And you just can’t beat that zing of peppermint to perk you up when you’re dragging. Plus, it is super sudsy!!!

Grab your shower puff, this yummy DIY body wash, and hop into a hot shower for an aromatherapy self-care session!

You’ll thank me for this!!!

What are some of your favorite aromatherapy combos?

This stuff can get your shower floor pretty slick, so be cautious and don’t slip!!!


Stay tuned for more DIY projects to come!


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Filed Under: DIY Tagged With: aromatherapy, body wash, coconut oil, diy, Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap, essential oils, honey, honey almond mint, moisturizing, self-care, self-soothe, vitamin E

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